I shouted.

I should run.

I should run, I said to myself.

I didn't run. I stayed. I wanted to end this in good term.
I hate when people say I am the bad one here. I hate it. Really hate it.

I told to my partner that I don't like staying here with my in laws.

I know my partner didn't ask me to do anything at all in this house, but as a human that have a common sense, I simply don't want to stay at home and do nothing. I didn't pay anything, I couldn't. I didn't afford anything. It sucks. I told him couple of things that I kept to myself only, wild card I must said. But still got some wild card under my sleeves.

I told my partner yesterday, and it was not a goood outcome. He was so weak. He slammed his face to the stereng. Oh god. I am scared seeing that situations. I am the one that feels needed to end this life. He was saying couple of things that I am speechless.

Not because I am too stunned to speak, but I am scared there is no end to my problems.

I am stucked. I felt that way.

Haih.

I am selfish. I am bad. I am ungrateful.

I know it all, but I wanted to save myself too.

How? 

Ottokaji? I am really need help.

But I dont know who to ask from.

I am too helpless.

But if you ask me, I give up already.

Way back then, I gave up.