the less I care.
Funny how today, I’m 27 year old. It seems like it was only yesterday that I turned 21. Time sure moves rather quickly when you’re living in the now. I’ve noticed that the more I grow, the less I care and I have reached a point where I genuinely don’t give a fuck about anything which is why you’re seeing a lot less of me online now compared to before.
Four weeks ago, I have posted a picture on Instagram with a caption that explains how I no longer have the interest of being around other people as their energy exhaust me. Unfortunately that is true. I don’t know about you but socializing or being in a rather “social” situation wears me out. Which explains why I no longer hang out with my friends because I very much prefer being by myself. I don’t quite fancy hanging out in a large group and if I were to hang out with my friends, I’d prefer doing it one at a time, or at most, 3. The only other person I spend time with aside from my family, is my husband. Not because we’re in a relationship, it’s because he is just like me. It feels just right and natural.
Thing is, before this even when I don’t care, I still try. I supposed I don’t have the time for that anymore. I have gotten ridiculously lazy. If something makes me feel unpleasant, I get rid of it. That applies to people as well. I have cut off so many people from my life, not because I hate them, it’s because I don’t find them a necessity. If they want to talk, I’m here for them but if not, I’m gone. That probably makes me seem like a complete asshole but honestly, that’s exactly what I feel. I have been so independent that I don’t find the need to rely on anyone. If there’s a problem, I’ll fix it. And if I can’t, I’ll make sure I do anyhow.
I’ve reached a stage where all I want to do is just take one day at a time, probably write from time to time while sipping on hot tea. Everything else seems petty. I haven’t decided if that’s good or bad just yet and I don’t think it matters since life itself has its pros and cons. I’ll tell you this though, the best thing about social isolation is that I spend more time reflecting on everything including myself. That’s one way to learn.
Well, 27. Interesting number to live. I am near to 30's. 3 freaking decades living on this earth. I have not achieve any huge achievement, to be honest. If you asked me, I am envy with other people that younger than me already achieve almost everything in their life, but me? haha damn, is this my life?
Four weeks ago, I have posted a picture on Instagram with a caption that explains how I no longer have the interest of being around other people as their energy exhaust me. Unfortunately that is true. I don’t know about you but socializing or being in a rather “social” situation wears me out. Which explains why I no longer hang out with my friends because I very much prefer being by myself. I don’t quite fancy hanging out in a large group and if I were to hang out with my friends, I’d prefer doing it one at a time, or at most, 3. The only other person I spend time with aside from my family, is my husband. Not because we’re in a relationship, it’s because he is just like me. It feels just right and natural.
Thing is, before this even when I don’t care, I still try. I supposed I don’t have the time for that anymore. I have gotten ridiculously lazy. If something makes me feel unpleasant, I get rid of it. That applies to people as well. I have cut off so many people from my life, not because I hate them, it’s because I don’t find them a necessity. If they want to talk, I’m here for them but if not, I’m gone. That probably makes me seem like a complete asshole but honestly, that’s exactly what I feel. I have been so independent that I don’t find the need to rely on anyone. If there’s a problem, I’ll fix it. And if I can’t, I’ll make sure I do anyhow.
I’ve reached a stage where all I want to do is just take one day at a time, probably write from time to time while sipping on hot tea. Everything else seems petty. I haven’t decided if that’s good or bad just yet and I don’t think it matters since life itself has its pros and cons. I’ll tell you this though, the best thing about social isolation is that I spend more time reflecting on everything including myself. That’s one way to learn.
Well, 27. Interesting number to live. I am near to 30's. 3 freaking decades living on this earth. I have not achieve any huge achievement, to be honest. If you asked me, I am envy with other people that younger than me already achieve almost everything in their life, but me? haha damn, is this my life?
Adulting is not easy, dy. Well it is okay. Life is not a competition with others, but it is actually competition within yourself to be better than yesterday. Physically, mentally & spiritually.
Selamat Ulang Tahun yang ke 27, dy. Engkau bukan lagi bocah yang kena acah sentiasa, engkau harus mengorak langkah laju sebelum diri kau pecah dek dipukul ombak dunia yang dasyat rasanya. Dunia tak seindah yang kau sangkakan, dunia sentiasa berputar untuk semua rasakan hidup sebagai raja dan hidup sebagai nelayan.
Batu atau permata?
Dua dua ku pernah ada.
Live, dy.
Breathe.
No. Run, you should run.